Writing with Style Writing and Style Manual Poway Unified School District

Writing with Style Writing and Style Manual
Poway Unified School District

SOLVING WRITING PROBLEMS

Run-ons and Fragments

A fragment is a group of words written as a sentence but missing a subject, a verb, or some other essential part. The missing element causes it to be an incomplete thought:

Fragment	Mark Twain at the age of fourteen. He was convinced that his parents were among the stupidest people on the face of the earth.
Correction	Mark Twain said that at the age of fourteen he was convinced that his parents were among the stupidest people on the face of the earth.
The fragment has been added to the sentence.

Fragment	When he reached twenty-one.
Correction	When he reached twenty-one, he was amazed at how much they had learned in only seven short years.
The fragment did not say what happened when he was twenty-one so the thought was completed.

For additional help correcting fragments, see Capital Community College Guide to Grammar and Writing http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm

A run-on sentence is the result of two sentences run together without adequate punctuation or a connecting word:

Run on	Smoke started billowing from under a Rolls Royce in Beverly Hills then the driver doused the flames with a bottle of Evian water.
Correction	Smoke started billowing from under a Rolls Royce in Beverly Hills ; then, the driver doused the flames with a bottle of Evian water.
Semicolon has been added.

A comma splice is a sophisticated kind of run-on sentence in which two sentences are connected (“spliced”) with only a comma. A comma is not strong enough to connect two independent clauses; a period, semicolon, or conjunction is needed:

Splice	The two teams faced off, neither one could make any yardage.
Correction	The two teams faced off, but neither one could make any yardage.
Conjunction has been added.

Splice	My brother just got his senior yearbook, he was voted “most likely to have his picture in the yearbook again next year.”
Correction	My brother just got his senior yearbook. He was voted “most likely to have his picture in the yearbook again next year.”
Comma has been changed to a period.

Splice	Our Boy Scout leader said that if we get lost in the woods at night, we should get our bearings from the sky, a glow will indicate the nearest shopping center.
Correction	Our Boy Scout leader said that if we get lost in the woods at night, we should get our bearings from the sky; a glow will indicate the nearest shopping center.
Comma has been changed to a semicolon.

For additional help correcting run-on sentences, see Capital Community College Guide to Grammar and Writing http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm

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VERB PROBLEMS

Shifts in Tense

Avoid unnecessary shifts in tense of verbs. Switching back and forth between present, past, and/or future tense creates an awkward and confusing effect. Stick to the tense you start with unless there is an excellent reason for changing:

Wrong:	The disc jockey reads the dedication but failed to play the song.
	present past
Right:	The disc jockey read the dedication but failed to play the song.
	past past

When writing about literature, generally stick with the present tense:

In The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain presents a nostalgic tale of boyish adventure along the Mississippi River. In one scene Tom Sawyer tricks his friends into whitewashing the fence, and moreover they agree to pay him for doing his chore.

When writing about history, stick with past tense:

Mark Twain wrote Tom Sawyer after the Civil War, but he set the story before the war.

Subject and Verb Agreement
For additional help with subject and verb agreement, see Capital Community College Guide to Grammar and Writing http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm

Make sure that a verb agrees with its subject (singular or plural):

A young woman lives next door.	Young women live next door.
Singular subject and verb	Plural subject and verb

Do not be confused by other words coming between the subject and the verb:

The student as well as her parents is invited to honors night.
singular subject	singular verb

Use a plural verb with compound subjects connected with and:

Making the soccer team and keeping up my grades are my two highest priorities.

Use a singular verb with these singular indefinite pronouns: either, neither, one, everybody, another, anybody, everyone, nobody, everything, somebody, and someone:

Everybody is going to the dance after the game.

Either Joe or Sal is giving me a ride home at 11 p.m.

Do not be confused by other words coming between the pronoun and the verb:

Each of the three girls is planning to buy a new outfit for the dance.
singular pronoun	singular verb

Some other indefinite pronouns (all, any, half, most, none, and some) may be either singular or plural depending on the meaning of the sentence:

Some of the show was hilarious.	Some of the actors were hilarious.
All of the homework seems simple.	All of the exercises seem simple.
Half of the popcorn was gone.	Half of the cokes were gone.

When the subject follows the verb, as in questions and in sentences beginning with here and there, be careful to find the subject and make sure that the verb agrees with it:

There are many hardworking students on the honor roll this semester.
plural verb	plural subject

Active and Passive Voice
For additional help using the active voice, see the University of Wisconsin Madison Writing Center Writer’s Handbook http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/ClearConciseSentences.html - active

For a stronger writing style, use active verbs whenever you can, rather than passive verbs. Passive verbs make the subject of the sentence the receiver of the action, rather than the agent.

To spot passive voice in your writing, look for any form of the helping verb be (be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been). To change to active voice, begin with the person or thing doing the action.

Passive:	The island was deluged by a hurricane.
Active:	A hurricane deluged the island.

Passive:	A dangerous rescue was made by volunteers after dark, but no sharks were encountered.
Active:	Volunteers made a dangerous rescue after dark but encountered no sharks.

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PRONOUN PROBLEMS

Pronoun Agreement
For additional help with pronoun agreement, see Capital Community College Guide to Grammar and Writing http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm

Make sure that a pronoun agrees with its antecedent. The antecedent is the noun (or pronoun) that the pronoun refers to or replaces:

When Matilda dances, she makes the whole dance floor sway and bounce.
antecedent	pronoun

Use a singular pronoun to refer to such antecedents as each, either, neither, one, anyone, anybody, everyone, everybody, somebody, another, and nobody:

Everybody must learn how to turn his car alarm off.

Either Sue or Jane needs to let me borrow her vocabulary book.

Often an error in pronoun agreement is made to avoid sexism. When pronouns such as a person or everyone are used to refer to both genders or either gender, you should either offer optional pronouns or rewrite the sentence in the plural form:

Optional pronouns:	Everybody must learn how to turn his or her car alarm off.
Plural form:	People must learn how to turn their car alarms off.

Nominative and Objective Cases of Pronouns

Use the nominative case when the pronoun describes the subject of a clause. Usually the nominative pronoun describes who or what is doing the action. The following pronouns are nominative: I, you, he, she, it, we, they, who, whoever.

I wish that he had a new glove.

They need to get one for him before the next game.

Otherwise Steve and he are going to warm the bench.

Who can pick out one without a hole in it?

Use the objective case when the pronoun describes the direct or indirect object of the sentence, in other words, when it describes who or what is receiving the action. An objective pronoun should also be used within a prepositional phrase when the pronoun is the object of the preposition. The following are objective pronouns: me, you, him, her, it, us, them, whom, whomever.

Throw the ball to her; she’s open.

(Her is the indirect object of the verb throw.)

My dad is taking my brother and me to practice.

(Brother and me are direct objects of the verb is taking.)

Dwayne sat behind Norman and us.

(Norman and us are the objects of the preposition behind.)

We did not hear whom the coach had named.

(Whom is the direct object of the verb had named.)

To test whether to use I or me in a compound subject or object, try the sentence with only the pronoun to see which one fits.

Sally and (I/me) went to the movies after work.

(When I take away the phrase Sally and, I realize that I fits best.)

Robert is planning to meet Sally and (I/me) there.

(When I take away the phrase Sally and, I realize that me fits best.)

Clear Pronoun Reference

Avoid ambiguous references that occur when the pronoun could refer to more than one antecedent:

Joe is a big Bugs Bunny fan; he (?) taught me everything I know about comedy.

(Which one taught me about comedy, Bugs Bunny or Joe?)

Avoid confusing general references by always following such words as this or that with a noun:

Confusing:	The Padres won their game last night even though Tony Gwynn struck out. That could be the turning point of the season.
Clear:	That game could be the turning point of the season.

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Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
For additional help correcting misplaced modifiers, see Capital Community College Guide to Grammar and Writing http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/modifiers.htm

Avoid misplacing modifiers by placing them next to the word they modify. Misplaced modifiers make the meaning of the sentence unclear because their position in the sentence makes it difficult to tell what they are modifying.

Misplaced:	They sold an assortment of exercise equipment for active people with a lifetime guarantee.
Correct:	For active people, they sold an assortment of exercise equipment with a lifetime guarantee.
Misplaced:	The thief decided to run when he saw the police officer abandoning the stolen vehicle and dashing into the woods.
Correct:	When he saw the police officer, the thief decided to run, abandoning the stolen vehicle and dashing into the woods.

Avoid dangling modifiers that appear to modify a word that isn’t in the sentence:

Dangling:	Carrying a heavy stack of trays, her foot caught in the doorway.
Correct:	Carrying a heavy stack of trays, Jenny caught her foot in the doorway.
Dangling:	Adjusting the binoculars, a dizzy-headed jay was finally spotted.
Correct:	Adjusting the binoculars, Audrey finally spotted a dizzy-headed jay.

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Parallel Structure
For additional help using parallel structure, see Capital Community College Guide to Grammar and Writing http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm

Coordinate ideas must use the same tense or structure.

Wrong:	We learned how to change a tire, shift sixteen gears, and once almost ran the truck off the road.
Correct:	We learned how to change a tire, shift sixteen gears, and keep the truck from running off the road.
	*(All the objects of the verb learned* are parallel.)**

Wrong:	I have mowed the lawn, washed the dog, rescued our hamster, and went to the store all in one day.
Correct:	I mowed the lawn, washed the dog, rescued our hamster, and went to the store all in one day.
	(All the verbs are parallel)
Wrong:	Water skiing no longer interests me as much as to go scuba diving.
Correct:	Water skiing no longer interests me as much as scuba diving.

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USING THE RIGHT WORD
For more information and examples, see Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style: http://www.bartleby.com/141/strunk3.html

a lot: a lot is always two words (just like a little). However, a lot is a vague descriptive phrase that should be avoided in formal writing.

Informal:	I have a lot of jelly beans in my lunch.
Formal:	I have many jelly beans in my lunch.

accept/except: accept means “to receive or take”; except means “to leave out.”

I will happily accept your offer of a free lunch.

Except for Joe, everyone has really cool purple shoes.

affect/effect: affect is a verb that means “to influence”; effect is most commonly seen as a noun that means “result,” but it is also used as a verb that means “to bring about.”

The movie affected me so much that I cried.

The love potion had a strange effect on Rosie.

I ran for office to effect change in our school.

all right: all right is always two words (just like all wrong); there is no such word as alright:

I’ll be all right once I catch my breath.

among/between: among refers to three or more persons or things; between refers to only two persons or things.

Among the three of us, we could not produce a single good idea.

However, between you and me, we have enough money for lunch.

amount/number: amount refers to a quantity that cannot be counted; number refers to a quantity that can be counted.

A great amount of water flooded my bathroom when I left the tap on.

A large number of water drops splattered on my windshield.

bad/badly: bad is always an adjective; badly is always an adverb.

The bad child was sent to his room.

There he practiced badly on his tuba.

I feel bad (ill).

I feel badly (have an inferior tactile sense, badly here is a synonym for poorly).

beside/besides: beside means “next to”; besides means “in addition to.”

Besides Newt, everyone on the team got new tennis shoes.

I stood beside Newt when he sunk the first shot.

can/may: can indicates ability; may indicates permission.

I can solve algebra problems.

You may go to the restroom.

fewer/less: fewer refers to quantities that can be counted; less refers to quantities that cannot be counted. (Same rule as amount/number).

I got fewer scoops of ice cream than she did.

I got less ice cream than she did.

further/farther: further refers to a greater extent, time or degree; farther refers to a greater distance.

We will discuss post-modernism further tomorrow.

I plan to go several inches farther on my next long-jump attempt.

goes/went: Do not use go or went when you mean say or said.

Then she said (not goes), “No way!”

hanged/hung: A person is hanged; everything else is hung.

The outlaw was hanged at high noon in the sycamore gulch.

The velvet Elvis painting hung prominently in the bathroom.

have (not of): write could have, should have, would have, might have, etc.

Wrong:	I could of won.
Right:	I could have won; I just didn’t feel like it.

i.e./e.g.: The Latin abbreviation i.e. means “that is.” The abbreviation e.g. means “for example.”

The country’s leader (i.e., the president) declared war.

I love candy (e.g., chocolate truffles).

it’s/its: Use its to describe something that it possesses; it’s is the contraction of it is.

Without its mother, the monster felt lonely and scared.

It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how you play the game.

lay/lie: The transitive verb lay means “to put or place” (the subject does the action to something); the intransitive verb lie means “to rest or recline” (the subject does the action).

Please lay your completed test on the table.
After that scare, I needed to lie down.


Memorizing the principal parts of these two verbs will help you use them correctly.
Infinitive	Present Participle	Past	Past Participle
Lie (to recline)	(is) lying	lay	(have) lain
Lay (to put)	(is) laying	laid	(have) laid

past/passed: Past is a noun that means “history,” an adverb (e.g., He rode past), or a preposition (e.g., Go past the store and turn left); passed is the past tense of the verb pass.

In the past, plagues wiped out vast populations.

Marcus rode past her house every day.

I passed Belinda in the hall.

real/really: Real is an adjective; really is an adverb that describes the degree of an adjective.

Her boyfriend bought her a real diamond.

Because I’m really tired, I’ll go to bed now

regardless: Regardless means “without regard”; there is no such word as irregardless.

Regardless of his natural talent, he did not make the team.

rise/raise: Rise means “to move upward” (the subject does the action); raise means “to lift or make something go up” (the subject does the action to something else).

I plan to rise early to go fishing

The Boy Scouts will raise the flag at the ceremony.

said/says: Said is the past tense of the verb to say; says is the present tense.

Yesterday he said he wanted to quit.

My aunt always says, “Pretty is as pretty does.”

slow/slowly: Slow is an adjective; slowly is an adverb.

The slow tortoise never wins races.

After spraining his ankle, he slowly crossed the finish line.

that/which: Use that to introduce essential clauses not set off by commas; use which to introduce nonessential clauses.

The mirror that once hung in the front hall cracked. (no commas)

My car, which has a sunroof, gets good gas mileage. (commas)

that/who: Use who, whom, or whose to refer to people; use that or which to refer to things.

Incorrect:	I enjoy spending time with people that have similar interests as me.
Correct:	I enjoy spending time with people who have similar interests as me.

their/there/they’re: To show possession, use their; there is a place; and there is a contraction for they are.

Their matching outfits make them look like twins.

I love the zoo; let’s go there.

They’re as slow as molasses in January.

to/too/two: To is a preposition that can mean “in the direction of” or it can form the infinitive of any verb. Too means “also” or is an adverb indicating degree. And two is a number.

Let’s go to the mall. (preposition)

Jeff would like to go too. (infinitive/ “also”)

It will be too crowded. (adverb showing degree)

We will need to take two cars. (infinitive/ number)

try to (not try and): Try to means “attempt”; never use try and. It is always followed by a verb, with the “to” making it an infinitive phrase.

Try to avoid waking a sleeping alligator.

well/good: Good is an adjective (modifies a noun); well is an adverb (modifies a verb) that means “capably” or an adjective that means “satisfactory” or “in good health.”

The good boy got a sticker as a reward for doing his homework well.

I feel well.

who/whom: Who does the action; whom receives the action. To test for who/whom, substitute he/him in the sentence. If he fits, use who; if him fits, use whom.

Who will feed the dragon?

Whom will you take to the dance?

your/you’re: To show possession, use your; you’re means “you are.”

Thanks for letting me share your apartment.

You’re going to love this next tune.

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