Five steps can help your preteen sharpen decision-making skills

You can't make all of your preteen's decisions for her, but you can help sharpen her decision-making skills. Encourage your middle schooler to:

Define the problem. Before she can solve a problem, your preteen needs to understand what that problem is. Remind her to put a tough issue into words before she tries tackling it.
Brainstorm solutions. Once your preteen has defined the problem, get her to run through a number of possible fixes. During this step, she shouldn't get bogged down in gauging each idea--she should simply put her ideas out there.
Evaluate her options. Now that she's come up with several potential plans of action, your preteen needs to weigh the pros and cons of each. Does one solution seem especially strong? Does another sound impossible? This is the time to decide which option seems the most workable.
Put her plan in motion. It's time for your preteen to try out the solution she thinks is best. To do so, she should start by devising a plan. Let her follow her plan by herself, but offer guidance if she's unsure how to proceed.
Reassess the situation. How is her strategy working? Is it helping her solve the problem or reach her goal? If yes, wonderful! If not, suggest that your preteen go back to the "evaluating" stage to find another approach.

Parent Quiz

Do you know what your preteen is doing after school?

Warmer weather and longer days can also mean more opportunity for your child to get into trouble in the first few hours after school. Answer yes or no to the questions below to find out how well you are monitoring your child's after-school time:

___1. Do you make sure your child has an adult contact after school, such as a relative, neighbor or sitter?

___2. Do you keep in touch by phone when your child is out of school and you are not there?

___3. Do you encourage your child to be involved in supervised extra-curricular activities after school?

___4. Do you have rules about who may be in the house when you are not there?

___5. Have you and your child discussed the dangers that kids can get into after school (such as alcohol, illegal drugs) and how to avoid them?

How well are you doing?

Mostly yes answers mean you are working hard to keep your child safe and productive after school. For no answers, try those suggestions.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter.