Are you raising a self-sufficient middle schooler?

Middle school children gain a healthy self-concept from being able to do things on their own. Answer yes or no to the questions below to see if you are promoting self-sufficiency:

___1. I expect my child to assume responsibility for her schoolwork.

___2. I encourage my child by offering tools (such as a calendar for writing down assignments) that can help her complete tasks on her own.

___3. I encourage my child to try new things and keep trying if she doesn't succeed at first.

___4. I expect my child to care for her personal needs and belongings. I also expect her to care for a plant, pet or sibling (on a limited basis that does not interfere with schoolwork).

___5. I teach my child to do tasks that will prepare her for life, such as shopping, cooking, washing clothes and making appointments.

How well are you doing?

Mostly yes answers mean you are helping your child become self-sufficient. Mostly no? Check the quiz for suggestions

Building Social Skills

Encourage your middle schooler to build friendships that will last

Middle school is the age of the peer. There will probably never be a time in your child's life when people within a year of her own age are as important to her as they are now. And while your child may dream of being the most popular girl in the class, she doesn't need that for happiness and fulfillment. She does, however, need a few friends she can count on.

Encourage your child to:

Introduce herself to new students, or any students who seem friendly. A smile is usually a good sign that a child is open to a new friendship.
Look for classmates with interests that match hers. Most middle schools have a variety of clubs and extracurricular activities. These can be a haven for kids who may need help making friends. It may be hard for her to spot a child of similar interests as she walks through the halls, but if she meets a student at the photography club, it's a safe bet she likes taking pictures, too.
Build on friendships that have potential. It's important to have people to talk to at school. But the strongest friendships also include spending time together outside the school building. Say your child has been eating lunch and walking to class with the same three girls for the last month. Suggest that she ask them to come to your house to eat pizza. Or offer to drive them to the movies.

Reprinted with permission from the January 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter