Are you keeping track of your child's social life?

Middle schoolers put a high priority on their social lives and they kick into high gear during the summer. Warm weather and fewer responsibilities often lead to a lot of "hanging out."

Answer yes or no to the questions below to see if you're ready to keep track of your child this summer:

___1. Do you know your child's friends?

___2. Do you have correct contact information for the parents of your child's friends?

___3. Do you know where your child will be, who she will be with, what she will be doing and what time she will be home?

___4. Have you encouraged your child to participate in summer activities such as swimming, camps and volunteering?

___5. Do you research movies and activities to make sure they are appropriate before your child goes?

How well are you doing?

Mostly yes answers mean you are keeping track of your child. For no answers, try those ideas.

Building Character

Coach your child to help without expecting something in return

When your child was younger, he did what you asked for one of two reasons: He wanted to please you (or avoid displeasing you) or he wanted to get something for it. That is the moral reasoning of a young child.

But now your child is reaching a new stage of moral reasoning. He should be working on "doing the right thing" because it is beneficial to more people than just himself.

Here are ways to encourage this:

Remind him that others count on him. "I know it's hard to make it to soccer practice on time every day. But your teammates really need you. I appreciate your effort and I know how much your coach appreciates your dedication."
Phrase your requests in terms of helping the family. Example: "Can you help the family by taking out the trash?"
Remind him to consider the feelings of others. "I wonder what your teacher would think if you wrote her a note thanking her for a great year."

Reprinted with permission from the May 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter.