September 2009

Implement four basic steps for a successful year in middle school

Put your middle schooler on the path to school success! To help him start--and finish--strong this year:

1. Maintain routines. You relied on them when your middle schooler was a toddler, so don't abandon them now that he's nearly a teen. Routines give structure to his day and help him stay organized. So develop some commonsense school-year rituals and stick with them. Make sure you establish a morning, after-school and evening routine for your child.
2. Get involved at school. It's not always easy to stay connected to the middle-school classroom, but do it anyway. Getting involved shows your middle schooler that his education matters. You don't need to be "Volunteer of the Year" or attend every PTA/PTO meeting. Just make an effort to participate when you can.
3. Stay informed. It's easy to miss the fliers or handouts stuffed in your middle schooler's backpack. So ask him every day whether he's brought anything home that you should see. The same goes for his schoolwork. Just skimming his notes can fill you in on what's happening in class.
4. Support your child. Your middle schooler may act like he's "too cool" to need your love and guidance, but he's not. Never miss a chance to give him a hug or tell him you love him.

Plan ahead for your preteen's home-alone time after school

Is your preteen responsible enough to stay home by herself occasionally? If so, make her home-alone time as safe and structured as possible.

Here's how:

• Spell out the rules ahead of time. Is your preteen allowed to answer the phone while you're away? How about the door?
• Keep a first-aid kit on hand. Review its contents with your preteen.
• Explain expectations. Do you want your child to do her homework and chores before turning on the TV or computer?
• Review kitchen safety. If the oven is off-limits, what about the microwave? Is she allowed to use the teapot on the stove?
• Make an evacuation plan. Teach your child where to go in a fire or a weather emergency. Post important numbers by the phone.

Building Respect

Don't tolerate profanity; teach your middle schooler respect

Bad language is nothing new. People have been saying a "few choice words" for centuries. Unfortunately, though, these days it seems like they are saying more than a few. And they say them at younger ages.

Curb profanity in your family. Just because it is more common than ever does not make it respectful. It's highly disrespectful. And using it can get your child disrespected by people who could make a positive difference in her future.

You can clean up your child's language if you:

• Watch your own language. Your child repeats what she hears, so use alternatives, such as "Oh, snap."
• Stay calm if you hear bad language from your child. Don't give your child the satisfaction of shocking you. Just say, "That word is offensive. Do not use it."
• Create consequences. Some families have a "swearing jar." When a family member curses, she must put a coin into the jar. When it's full, the money goes to charity.

Reprinted with permission from the September 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter.